He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
