She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
