i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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