I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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