I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
