I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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