So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize