he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
