Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
