He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
