So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
