I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
