Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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