wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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