It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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