overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
