your parents love me but you hate me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
