Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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