That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
