um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize