You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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