She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
