Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
