he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize