he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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