I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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