oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
