Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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