you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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