first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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