Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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