I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
