That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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