shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
