I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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