Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
