the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
