it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
