shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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