Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
