East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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