neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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