she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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