Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
