sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
