They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
