To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Two words: nipple clamps
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