she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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