Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
