your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize