At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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