I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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