Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize