Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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