worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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