No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
