More tranny stories later!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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