I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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